Carly’s Law: a love connection

Carly’s Law, designed to protect children from online predators who lie about their age, set to pass Parliament

Carly’s Law, designed to protect children from online predators who lie about their age, set to pass Parliament

Just watched the news story on ABC24 TV which culminated in the unveiling of the hand-made quilt made from Carly’s favourite clothes.
Listening to Sonya Ryan’s, (Carly’s Mum) story a few things resonated with me:

Sonya spoke about the love connection between her and her daughter and it is that connection that has kept her going. I feel this very much with Robbie – I am still connected with Robbie through our forever love right from the moment he was dying and I had that experience in the classroom while he was unbeknown to me dying in his car. It has been that love connection that has driven Sonya to create social change around protecting minors from online predators. This is the “so what” of her work and why people are still interested 10 years later. Her work has a wider reach than just her personal grieving process of making a quilt.

Today marks the day where the law has been passed to make it illegal for adults to lie about their age to minors online. It has been a 10 year journey for Sonya.

The quilt is made from material from Carly’s clothes. This is similar to what my daughter Jess and I are doing with Robbie’s clothes. Jess wants to make a quilt and I will use the remaining bits to make yarn to crochet or weave into practical items.

Sonya spoke eloquently how the love connection has had a ripple effect to their family and friends and now to the wider community of Australia through the Foundation and new law. My Off The Cuff logo was my painting from Dr Ben’s class on imagination – its my toe in the water creating ripples broadcasting out to others – thinking Barad’s diffraction theory here – what implications does that theory have on my logo which represents my direction?

WOW!! This is so similar to where I am going with my love connection with Robbie – has put me on a new path – the clarity of what it is I am doing is still emerging. I am starting from a point of coming to terms with Robbie’s death and through that process working for social and cultural change around death, dying and bereavement. Sonya tapped into a hidden social issue. What is the hidden social issue for me with Robbie’s death? It has never been about young men dying in car accidents. I was never drawn to placing a wreath by the road where he crashed. I have never felt connected to that narrative or discourse. For me the issue is around being totally unprepared for death. I knew little about our death system – how it worked, what the laws are, what are our options for dying, body disposal and grieving. I was carried along by this death system and let it make decisions for me because I did not know the questions to ask or the options available. Knowing what I know now I would do things differently and make different decisions. I live my life through a social-ecological lens so I am keen to develop options for dying, body disposal and grieving that connect us with the earth – where an entanglement happens at every stage between humans and nature – how can we look to nature to learn how to die, how to dispose of our bodies and how to grieve? Theories of biophilia and biomimicry applicable here as is post-humanism.

I used the book: The Nature of Business: Redesigning organisations for resilience by Giles Hutchins for my Leadership for Innovation and Sustainability MBA class. Am thinking be great to write a book called: The Nature of Death to cover dying, body disposal and grieving thr a social ecological lens. and then its sequel: the death of nature to look at how our personal death awareness can inform or spark us to do something to stop death of our species.

Love this: The nature of death and the death of nature – this title links my work on personal death to death of our species and even our planet – the anthropocene and death studies.

Have downloaded the paper:

Note that the paper has a different slant on the title interpretation than where I want to take it. My take is more about understanding our death system and then re-imagining a death system through a social ecological lens. “Results demonstrated that heightened mortality awareness led to less concern for the environment among those not deriving self-esteem from an environmental domain, but fostered environmental concern among those who do acquire self-esteem from environmental action.”

The issue Sonya tapped into was the large extent of how our children are vulnerable to online predators. No one seemed to realise how extensive this problem is. So her work has shone light onto the problem and come up with a solution through the law.

The quilt provides an arts based creative tangible material thing to signify the abstract intangible law. I like that connection! Semiotics theory at work here.




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